Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Stevenson and Me

And so it begins............

Facebook Inbox Message 08/05/13

Mekalu Mekalu
Good day,i am barrister Stevenson Ekenna,i will like you to stand as the heir to my deceased client,(Mr.Andrew Prendergast) who deposited the sum of $5.7 million with a bank here in Togo. He died on July 2007 with his family members without any registered next of kin and the funds now have an open beneficiary mandate. Upon your reply i will give you the details. Awaiting your response to my private email..

    Dear Ekenna,

    How are you? as for me I am fine. I am sorry to hear about your deceased client who seems to share the same name as me. My middle name is Clementine. How is the weather in Togo? I imagine it is very hot. Is Togo where Togas were invented? I have always wondered that.
    I like the sound of this $5.7 million open beneficiary mandate thing - I think I'd like a slice of the action although, truth be told I am already pretty wealthy as I own England's largest chain of pigeon corn supply shops (see attached the local store). We have 62 outlets throughout the country with a new flagship store opening in Pudsey on Friday. There is going to be a big opening ceremony and we had originally booked Jimmy Tarbuck to open the store but his agent rang yesterday to say he couldn't make it. Instead we are flying in Leonard Nimoy who used to be in that old Star Trek series.

    Anyway, I have to go as I have business shit to attend to. You have my email details now so let me know how we can hustle this thing along.

    BTW do you mind if I call you Kenny?



    From : Ekenna Stevenson (
    To : Andy Prendergast

    Good day,
    I hope you are doing well. I have read your mail,i contacted you based on my deceased client,Mr.Prendergast,he deposited the sum of $5.7 million with a bank here in Togo. He died on July 2007 with his family members without any registered next of kin and the funds now have an open beneficiary mandate,based on the inheritance laws of Togo,the bank will notify the representative lawyer if nobody claims the money after 5 years,he had no registered next of kin and as such the bank has notified me to present the relatives or have the funds confiscated,having searched for his relatives without finding anyone alive,i decided to contact you before the bank confiscates the money . However you need to furnish to me with the following information for immediate action;

    1. Your full name and address
    2. Your private phone number
    3. Marital status
    4. Age & Nationality
    5. Occupation
    6. Identity Card(Driver's License or International passport)

    I appreciate your seriousness and commitment to collaborate with me in claiming this fund from the Bank instead of leaving them to confiscate the funds. However, it does not really matter if you are not the biological next of kin to my deceased client, because as the legal counsel to the deceased, it is my onus to present the next of kin/beneficiary to the inheritance of my late client to the bank. So you need not to worry in any way. All i need is your permission to present you as the next of kin to my late client to the bank so that we could transfer this fund out immediately.

    1. Procurement of affidavit of claim:
    With your forwarded information, I shall be going to the Registry of the Togolese High Court  to procure the per-requisite legal documents and an Affidavit of claim in your favor as the next of kin to the late depositor. This affidavit of claim is a legal paper work that will confer on you, the statutory right to lay this claim.

    2. Formal application to bank.

    Upon the procurement of the affidavit, I shall proceed to the bank and submit every necessary document to the legal department to put claims for the transfer of the said fund to your account. Once I file this application, the paying bank will approve the funds and transfer to an account that you would nominate. I know all these might be alien to you, but as a renowned attorney, I know what to do and how to go about the procedure. All I need is your full co-operation and understanding.
    Rest assured that this transaction is legitimate and you will not regret partaking in it. It would be completed within twelve (12) working days if you are co-operative and communicative. The procedures for making claims are very simple and straight forward. The procedures would be followed within the ambit of the law, such that none of us shall get into any kind of trouble or be under any litigation at the end of this transaction.

    Finally, to avoid misunderstanding at the end of the transaction, I want you to confirm to me, your acceptance of a 40% share of the total fund, While 5% will be set aside for the less privileged, then 55% for me. Please call me immediately you receive this mail on my direct phone number  +228-9297-52-46  for  more  details regarding this. In anticipation of your most wonderful co-operation and understanding, I wish you all the best.
    Best regards!
    Barrister Ekenna Stevenson

    From:Andy Prendergast (
    Sent:09 May 2013 12:41:19
    To: Ekenna Stevenson (

    Dear Kenny,

    How are you? As for me I am fine. Thank you for your prompt reply. I have tried to ring your office but I cannot seem to get an answer. Maybe you are very busy as I imagine the world of Barristering is just as busy as the hury-burly world of Pigeon Corn supplying. Please find below the details as you have requested so that we may proceed with this venture.

    1. Your full name and address : Andrew Clementine Enoch Prendergast
    2. Your private phone number  :0161 378 9761
    3. Marital status                       : Eligible Bachelor
    4. Age & Nationality                 :44 yrs, British
    5. Occupation                           :Pigeon Corn Magnate
    6. Identity Card(Driver's License or International passport)   :  Yes, I have both although I am currently not allowed to drive because of various drink/driving misdemeanours. (one of them involving a minibus full of nuns on a day trip to Hartlepool)
    I hope  this information is enough for you to approach the Togonese High Court with the claim. As you can see I am not a married man but I can assure you I am not a homosexual - au contraire, I am quite the ladies man.

    I have had a good look at your passport ID and everything seems to be in order. I must say you remind me of a younger version of the famous newsreader Sir Trevor McDonald.

    Please let me know if you need any more information.

    Your Friend

    From:Ekenna Stevenson (
    Sent:09 May 2013 18:46:55
    To: Andy Prendergast (

    Thanks for your prompt response,please try and send me a scanned copy of your identity card as soon as possible,i've started the procedure for obtaining the legal documents,by tomorrow everything will be okay. Awaiting your response.

    From:Andy Prendergast (
    Sent 11 May 2013 11:58

    To: Ekenna Stevenson
    Dear Kenny,

    How are you? as for me I am fine. Please find attached a scan of my passport so that we may proceed with our little 'venture'.
    As we are about to enter into a considerable business deal together I think you should know more about me.

    As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a pigeon corn dealer. Other kids at school dreamed of being train drivers, firemen, astronauts etc but I always dreamt of being the UK's leading supplier of pigeon corn. I have always been fascinated by pigeons and they always seem to have been part of my life. Here are some interesting facts about pigeons :

    1. Pigeons are often mistakenly described as birds - they are in fact mammals and have warm blood and fur under their feathered exterior.
    2. Pigeons can fly at speeds of up to 60 miles per hour (approximately 100 knots in sailing terms).
    3. Pigeons can consume up to 16 times their body weight in pigeon corn every day.

    4. During World War 2 specially trained pigeons were used to drop tiny bombs on German troops in France.
    5. Despite fact no. 4 - the French actually eat pigeons and consider them a delicacy, the ungrateful cheese-eating surrender- monkeys.
    If you would like to know more about pigeons or pigeon corn please let me know. I have attached a picture of a pigeon for your reference.

    As for my personal life I am not married and live with my personal assistant and lifestyle coach Harvey Benedict Sinclair. Despite this I can assure you I am not a homosexual - au contraire - I have bedded a string of attractive women and I am considered something of a 'Ladies Man' in these parts.

    Best Regards


    From:Ekenna Stevenson (
    Sent:11 May 2013 15:08:01
    To: Andy Prendergast (

    Thanks for the information and your passport which you sent,i will conclude the process of obtaining the necessary legal documents by Monday,i tried calling your phone number but it hardly connects,is that a mobile phone number? You can send me your mobile phone number for direct communication with you if there's urgent need for me to call you. Send me the complete mobile number with the country code on how to connect with you. I wish you a wonderful weekend,let's hope that by Monday we shall be a step forward in this deal. Please make sure you try and check your email at least once in a day. You can sms me with your mobile number directly to my mobile phone( +228-929-752-46 ) so i can pick up your telephone number correctly. Awaiting your response

    Andy Prendergast (

    To: Ekenna Stevenson
    Hi Kenny,

    How are you? as for me I am fine. I am not surprised you can not get through to my phone as I had it stolen from me a few nights ago. I had been out for a night on the town with my personal assistant Harvey Benedict Sinclair. We had a few drinks around Canal Street with some of Harvey's friends from the hair salon (see attached photo).

    One thing led to another and I found myself walking home along the canal where I was set upon under a bridge by some rough men. They assaulted me in the worst possible way and stole my phone, wallet and house was mostly horrible.

    I am awaiting a new phone being delivered so in the meantime if you could email me with any news on our little business venture.

    I know that Canal Street in Manchester is a mainly known as a notorious gay area I can assure you that I am not a 'friend of Dorothy' - au contraire - I have the deserved reputation as something of a red-hot heterosexual with a string of glamorous girlfriends.

    Your Friend


    Ekenna Stevenson (
    13/05/2013 10:08

    To: Andy Prendergast
    Good morning sir
    Your response has been well observed, I wish to inform you that I was successful in processing the legal document/affidavit required by the bank which are necessary for this operation, I have already sent the document to the bank and I also informed the bank that my late client's relative will contact the bank soon. Listen carefully to this, you have to write an application letter via email to the bank immediately, inform the bank that you have already contacted the family lawyer, me, Stevenson Ekenna regarding your late cousin's deposit with the bank, bank name is ECOBANK, TOGO. This is the bank contact details below ....

    Ecobank Togo
    20, Sylvanus Olympio Avenue
    P.O. box:BP 3 302 – Lomé Togo
    Phone: 00 228 9838 4697


    Contact the bank and tell them you want them to help you process the transfer the funds of your late cousin (Edgar Prendergast) which he deposited in their bank to your bank account, do not tell the bank that i am the person who informed you about this money,you have to act as if you are already aware of the existence of this money, okay. Tell the bank that the family lawyer(me) has already forwarded the legal document to the bank and that you have also been in touch with me, write an application to the bank immediately so the bank can start processing the transfer of the funds to your account.

    Inform me as soon as you contact the bank, remember what I said, if the bank asks you any question which you do not know,please inform me. Finally, I remind you that all matters relating to this transaction be kept secret and confidential until the money is transferred to your account, I do not want anything to jeopardize this transaction,i really need this transaction to be smooth and successful due to my worsening financial situation as my wife is sick and and she's undergoing heart surgery,i have exhausted all my life savings on her medical bills and i am totally broke. So do not make i any mistake,i beg of you,handle this transaction carefully,i await your response as soon as you contact the bank,have a nice day.

    Stevenson Ekenna

    Andy Prendergast (


    To: Ekenna Stevenson 

    Dear Kenny,
    I am very sorry to hear about your wife's heart condition, perhaps if this deal goes through you can buy her a new one.  They can do amazing things these days. I once saw a picture of a mouse that had a human ear transplanted on it's back. I don't know why they would want to do that? I bet everything was really loud for the mouse and it had to avoid noisy places. Here I found a picture of it - it's pretty horrible.

    Who is this Edgar bloke anyway? I thought the dead bloke was called Andrew like me? I think I'll cover our tracks by calling him Edgar Andrew like it's his middle name, like Edgar Alan Poe.

    I will email the bank later with my claim and don't worry, I will keep all this very secret and confidential. It's all very exciting. 

    What's the weather like in Togoland? It's been pissing down here all day. I imagine it's very hot where you are. I've been thinking about the 5% share for the poor people and I think we should increase it to say 6% as I am something of a philanthropist. What do think about that?
    Anyway I have to go as Harvey Benedict Sinclair and I are going to see an all night Judy Garland film extravaganza at the cinema. Despite this I can assure you I am not an old poof - au contraire - I have the reputation as quite the gigolo around these parts.  

     Your friend


    From:Ekenna Stevenson (
    Sent:13 May 2013 19:32:33
    To: Andy Prendergast (

    Good evening
    I'm happy happy with your response,thanks for showing concern about my wife's illness. Keep me informed whenever you contact the bank. Yes,the deceased full names are Edgar Andrew Prendergast,any of the names you use are correct,okay. Please keep the legal document which i sent you intact,make sure you contact the bank today and keep me informed,have a lovely evening.

     From :Andy Prendergast (


    Dear Sirs,

    How are you? as for me I am fine. I am writing to you today with regards to the funds resting in your bank which belong to my dear departed cousin Edgar Andrew Prendergast. Edgar and I were very close and as little girls we often played together on my Uncle Bernards turkey farm in rural Norfolk. Uncle Bernard was one of Englands biggest turkey farmers and was very, very rich. Edgar and I were very close until I went away to an exclusive public school to study Classical Literature and Buggery. Edgar moved to Africa after Uncle Bernard died. Edgars mother married an African gentleman named Bassoon Umbangy who was a village elder statesman with his own detached hut.

    My cousin Edgars trusted family lawyer Ekenna Stevenson has been in conact with me re Edgars sizeable fortune and he has already posted a legal document with you so that these funds may be transferred to myself.

    Please accept this as an official request from myself to transfer the funds to my bank account.

    If you require any further information please contact me. For your information my name is Andrew Clementine Enoch Prendergast and I reside in Manchester, England. I am the UK's leading retailer of pigeon corn and I own and operate a string of succesful shops nationwide. I have many influential friends both in the world of showbusiness and politics. I have attached a picture of myself with former US President Richard Nixon so you can see exactly what kind of people have moved within my social circle.

    Yours Faithfully

    Andrew Clementine Enoch Prendergast

    9 Culpability Road
    Ashton under Lyne

    To: Andy Prendergast

    20, Avenue Sylvanus Olympio
    P.O. box:BP 3 302 – Lomé Togo
    Telephone: +228 9838 4697

    Dear Customer
    Your request has been received and confirmed. Before we can carry out the transfer of the funds to your bank account,you are required to provide the following documents.

    1. The cetificate of funds origin
    2. Change of ownership certificate from the Togolese high court.
    3. A letter of administration from the Togolese high court.
    4. A copy of the deposit certificate of the deceased.

    Also,you are required to fill out the form below for our bank to transfer funds to your account. Finally, you are required to respond to this questionnaire, as it is necessary for the benefit of all parties involved in this transaction.

    Also,you are required to fill out the form below for our bank to transfer funds to your account. Finally, you are required to respond to this questionnaire, as it is necessary for the benefit of all parties involved in this transaction.

    1. What is the name of your late cousin?
    2. What is the name of your late cousin's dead wife?
    3. How many children does your cousin have?
    4. What date did your cousin die?
    5. What was the occupation of your late cousin before his death?
    6. How much did your late cousin deposit and what is the account number of the deceased?

    As soon as our bank receives these documents,information and answers,our bank shall immediately transfer the funds to your account as the legitimate next of kin, our bank is waiting for your immediate response.

    Please make sure the attached form is filled out correctly for the onward transfer of funds to your account.

    Yours sincerely
    Mr.Ifeanyi Azodo
    Head Of Remittance Department

    Dear Kenny,

    How are you? as for me I am fine. Today I got this email from Ifeyani Azodo at the Togo Ecobank - it's asking a few awkward questions about my dead cousin Edgar. I'm hoping you can help me out with this. I don't know anything about his family etc as I never heard of him before I got your Facebook message. I gave the bank a bit of a story about him moving to Africa etc to give us a bit of credibilty. I hope you can provide some answers for them.  I'm getting very excited as the endgame is near now. I have been trying to imagine exactly what I will do with all that money. The nearest thing I can imagine is portrayed by the image attached.......fondue luxury.

    Ekenna Stevenson (
    To: Andy Prendergast

    I got your letter and i'm happy we are making headway in this transaction,we have reached a very sensitive point of this transaction and i do ask you to be very careful now with your attitude with the bank. Regarding the questions,these are the answers below.

    1. Edgar Andrew Prendergast
    2. Wife's name is Victoria Prendergast
    3. The name of his son is Robert Prengergast
    4. My client died on July 7, 2007
    5. He was a civil engineer / contractor working for the government of Togo.
    6. He deposited the sum of $ 5.7 million, and the account number 93111791290015

    Regarding the following documents......

    1. The cetificate of funds origin
    2. Change of ownership certificate from the Togolese high court.
    3. A letter of administration from the Togolese high court.
    4. A copy of the deposit certificate of the deceased.

    I can only give you the deposit F) (2,800,000.00 CFA) which is equivalent of 3,500 British pounds sterling. I have tried to get all the money all to no avail,my wife's medical situation makes everything hard for me as her treatment has exhausted all my life savings,i can be able to provide 2,000 pounds. I didn't really want to bother you,but since it has come to this stage,i ask you to try and send me the remaining balance of 1,500 pounds tomorrow so that i can commence with the processing of the required documents to enable the bank wire the funds to your bank account. I'm happy the bank has approved to transfer the funds to you once these documents are ready,so try and send to me the amount of 1,500 British pounds sterling tomorrow. I hope you can fill in the application form correctly,get back to me so i can inform you on how to send me the balance of 1,500 pounds so i can proceed to the Togolese high court tomorrow. Awaiting your response.Ekenna Stevenson

    Andy Prendergast (

    To: Ekenna Stevenson

    Dear Kenny,How are you? As for me I am fine. Thank you for providing me with the answers to the banks questions. I will forward the answers to them later. I must admit I almost soiled myself when I saw how much that the bank wanted for 3 documents - TWO MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND!!!!!! then I saw that it wasn't in real money but in West African money. Holy cow how do you carry that much cash around with you? you must have to take a wheelbarrow full of money with you when you go down to the shops! How much would it cost me to shoot a lion in Togo? I have always wanted to shoot a lion as they are such magnificent beasts. I would have it skinned and use it like a rug like they do in old films when they lie on the floor with their mouths open.
    I am considering flying out to Togo when the transaction goes through. Would it be possible to meet you? I would travel with my friend and personal assistant Harvey Benedict Sinclair. We go on holiday together frequently and we often share a room but I can assure you this is purely for cost savings and we are not 'batty boys' as you may say - au contraire - I have had more glamorous girlfriends than Simon Cowell who is also a man's man like me.

    I have always wanted to visit Africa, ever since I was a small boy and I watched Daktari, Born Free and Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lion or 'Clarence der Schielende Lowe' as my Uncle Dolf called him. (see picture attached)
    I used to spend a lot of time with Uncle Dolf in Argentina when I was a small boy until Uncle Dolf disappeared one day and was never seen again. I was very sad. I have enclosed a picture of me and Uncle Dolf in happer times. 

    Anyway Kenny, I must go now. I will make arrangements with my own bank tomorrow to get my share of the document money over to you.

    Toodle Pip!

    Your Friend

    Ekenna Stevenson (
    To: Andy Prendergast

    Received your letter,will be very busy today,please call me on the phone whenever the money is ready and send me email,thanks.

    Andy Prendergast
    To: Ekenna Stevenson

    Dear Kenny,

    How are you? as for me I am fine. I know you are busy but I have spoken to my bank and they require some information from you in order for me to transfer £1500.00 to you. I will need :

    Your Full Name
    Your Address
    Your Bank Name & Address
    Your Bank Account number
    Your Bank Sort Code
    Your Mothers Maiden Name
    Your Secret Password for the account
    Your Bank Account Pin Number
    A picture of you in skimpy shorts

    The last item is not strictly necessary for the transfer but it may come in useful at some point.

    Best Regards


    Ekenna Stevenson (
    To: Andy Prendergast

    You can easily send the money via western union money transfer and forward me the receipt of payment. Western union money transfer is the easiest way to send money. Send with this information below
    Sender's name........
    Name of receiver.......... Ekenna Stevenson
    Amount.... 1,500 pounds
    Country of receiver...... Togo
    Text question...  colour
    Answer... white
    Money transfer control number (MTCN)

    Keep me updated when you send the money and let me have the payment receipt

    To: Ekenna Stevenson
    Hi Kenny,

    I will try and find a branch of the Western Union near me so I can transfer the funds. I think there is one near to where my shop is on Reddish Lane so I will have a look in the morning. In the meantime here is a picture of a monkey riding a horse as a gesture of goodwill and an indication of my serious intent.

    Ekenna Stevenson (
     To: Andy Prendergast
    What is the meaning of all these pictures? Okay,keep me informed once you make the payment

    1 comment:

    1. Hilarious!

      I received a similar message on fb and decided to Google it. That lead me to the post. We both inherited the same amount! It confirmed the notion that the scoundrels have a fill in and send standard copy.

      You old poof, your replies were hilarious.

      Send Regards to old Uncle Adolf. If you ever see him again...